B!tchfest p1: Jawbreaker

Welcome to Sawyer's Bitchfest! Come on in. In this segment, I'll compare the bitches of film, one by one. First up is the “flawless four” + Fern/Vylett of 'Jawbreaker' (1999), which gives it to you 90’s style with a fetish sensibility and embodies “so bad its good” (it’s rotten tomatoes score is 7%). Since ringleader Courtney Shayne (Rose McGowan) is described as  “satan in heels,” she’s our primary contender for this one. I'll be ranking her and all girls to come using a Bitch Factor: I’ll score each bitchy thing they do from 1-5.

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here’s all the 🍵 on Courtney:

  • within the first 5 minutes of the film, she accidentally kills “sweet one” Liz by gagging her with a- you guessed it- jawbreaker and throwing her in her trunk. In fairness, she was trying to pull a birthday surprise, but manslaughter is manslaughter so.. that gets a +5
  • right after that, she instructs her girl gang to act “peachy fucking keen” (a reference to Rizzo from 'Grease') +2
  • she calls her friends her ‘girlfriends’ like 3x, which can be cute but the way she does it earns her a +1
  • she has a pin up girl tattoo on her back (Rose McGowan’s own), which I think may be more cool than bitchy tbh +0
  • Struts down the hallway with her friends multiple times. This is classic bitch +3
  • This is unrelated but she reminds me of 'Black Dahlia' Elizabeth Short which gives me a dark~~ mood
  • Neglects to call the police and doesn’t stop there, buT stages her death to be a kink/hookup/rape gone wrong. +5
  • It gets worse: she has sex with a stranger (Marilyn Manson) in our golden girl’s bed in order to frame him for the murder. +5
  • “I killed Liz! I killed the teen dream! Deal with it.” +3
  • The shade name of her nail polish is ‘demented’ ("Seriously, the color's called 'demented.'") +1
  • when Fern Mayo (like, hold the mayo?) catches her at Liz’s house, she offers her a makeover in exchange for her silence and changes her name to Vylett. typing this made me lol this gets a +3
  • “We never ever eat at lunch period” +2
  • Exposes Vylett to be Fern when she became a threat +2
  • Wins prom queen +4

⭐️Total Score: 36⭐️

More on 'Jawbreaker'🍬:

🍬 Director/Writer: Darren Stein 

"It’s not meant to take place at a specific high school in a specific town; it’s meant to be archetypes and stylish with a darkness that’s real and palpable." -Darren Stein

“It was punk rock and dark and it did not pull punches. It was really, for lack of a better word, cunty” – Darren Stein

🍬 Costume Designer: Vikki Barrett. Barrett based her costumes on the abrasively bright colors of the jawbreaker, and used a lot of circular accessories to really drive that theme home. 

Rose McGowan's performance has been compared to Bette Davis' persona, and she based her performance on Gene Tierney (below) in “Leave Her to Heaven” (1945), who is best described as obsessive and psychotic. 

Other Memorable Quotes:

🍭 "My god, Marcie, she’s dead! Relax!"

🍭 "I made u! And I’m god. That’s all you need to know!" 

🍭 "Brutally maimed, my dear."

🍭 "Who the fuck do you think you are, Angelyne?"

^ Vylett v Angelyne

🍭 "Haven’t you met vylett? It’s all about vylett."

🍭 "She’s so evil and she’s only in high school!"

Overall, 'Jawbreaker' is bad n' bitchy. If u want a taste, the cheapest way to watch is on Amazon Video or YouTube for $2.99. Thats all for now- toodles!